Hopeful

So two beta tests have come and gone - our first beta was negative at 11dp3dt and another negative today at 18dp3dt. No success this first time around *big sigh*

Based on the beta number at 11dp3dt, I knew there was very little chance of a pregnancy. So many emotions and thoughts flooded my mind when I first got the news. The emotions were deep and thoughts were plenty. I laid in my bed in the dark for a couple of hours - it was exactly what I needed to put things into perspective and experience the emotions. I now look forward to our next attempt.

The clinic re-opens on January 2 so I hope to connect with the doctor and/or staff regarding the next steps at that time. We have five embryos left so I'm curious how many of those the doctor will attempt to thaw. I was happy to hear from another surrogate of his that we don't have to wait a cycle for the next transfer.

I know my time will come when it's time. I keep in mind that everyone's journey is so different and thus do my best not to compare my negative result with those who have achieved success so quickly. Of course, there are many who don't but it seems part of our human nature to initially focus on the "half empty cup". But I did quickly re-shift that focus and have high hopes for a successful upcoming transfer.

Thank you for letting me share part of my world with you.